Young & Restless Says Au Revoir to One Twosome, Bonjour to a Bold & Beautiful Ingenue and Mon Dieu to a New Pair of Family Feuds

Says Au Revoir to One Twosome, Bonjour to a Bold & Beautiful Ingenue and Mon Dieu to a New Pair of Family Feuds

Good news, bad news, folks. First the bad: I’m filling in for your regular Young & Restless Soapboxer Candace Young this week. And the good? I have lots to say about the five episodes gone by. Actually, that may be bad news, bad news, huh? Anyway, Candi will be back next Friday, and in the meantime, for better or worse, we have oodles to discuss. Starting with… Ms. Sally Spectra.

 

‘I Am Woman, Hear Me Grovel’

Even before Sally was crossed over from Bold & Beautiful, I had expressed a singular wish that she would stop being described as an independent woman and start being written as one. (See? I really did.) Instead, three years later, she’s doing the same thing on her new soap that she did on her old one: having her dreams bankrolled by the rich guy with whom she’s sleeping. That’s not aspirational, it’s opportunistic, and it knocks Sally back once again to square one.

Kiss goodbye your independence, Sal.

Also, what’s with Sally telling Daddy Warbucks — sorry, I mean Nick — “I’m not looking for a business partner.” Kid, considering that you’ve never run a successful startup, you should be after more than money, you should be after advice on how not to watch it swirl its way down the drain.

What the show desperately needs at this juncture is someone to call Sally on her BS. I nominate an older and wiser version of her sister, Bold & Beautiful ingenue Coco, who could potentially become the only Young & Restless character who is actually, you know, young. She, of all people, could remind Sally of her great-aunt’s rags-to-riches story — and how it was begun with stolen designs. Sally, Coco could argue, can be better than that. She is better than that. She doesn’t need anyone else’s designs or their money. She’s a Spectra, dammit, and Spectras are resourceful!

And for her second course, she ate her words.

The Grape of Wrath

Long ago, I got sick of Ashley haranguing Diane in literally every scene. So I was actually relieved when Ashley choked on a grape, if only because it shut her up for a minute. But how on earth did Young & Restless not end that episode on that moment and let us wonder, however faintly, whether she’d be done in by her own lunch? Instead, the hour concluded with Billy sulking at Jack, a beat that’s been played, replayed, re-replayed, resolved and replayed all over again a million times over the years.

I didn’t think a single photo could capture my feelings about Ashley’s rants. I was wrong.

On a related note, is it, like a requirement that two Abbotts have to be at one another’s throats at all times? Because just as Ashley patched things up with Jack and made plans to jet off to Paris with Tucker for a belated honeymoon, Billy and his brother were glomming on to a flimsy new reason to bicker like pre-schoolers who haven’t availed themselves of nap time in a month. It’s not just the Abbotts, either…

‘I’m Hired?!? When Did I Apply for the Job?’

Truth be told, I’m as much over the Newmans squabbling as their counterparts. It would be one thing if they argued with great wit or even a consistent recollection of their histories. But they don’t. It’s just yelling, yelling, yelling, sniping, sniping, sniping. And for what? To see which of these incredibly rich people gets to sit in the big chair at work. What does it matter when they’re all just going to change jobs again next week? There are no stakes here.

“‘Marry rich,’ they said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ they said.”

As if to underscore that very point, Victor up and made Nikki the post-SNA-merger CEO of Newman Media — without even inquiring whether she wanted the job. (He may be ignoring a very real danger to his wife, too, but that’s another story, which you can read here.) Can you imagine working for that company? Your inbox would be spammed on the daily with updates about who’s filling what position for the foreeab— “Oops. Nope, Victor had another tiff with Adam, and you know what that means: another staffing change.”

“If I can’t sit in the big chair, a bar stool will do… for now.”

Boxed In

The scenes in which Victor lamented his fate were nicely shot and beautifully played by the estimable Eric Braeden. He had great chemistry with that punching bag. And I suppose his combo platter of melancholy and defiance tracks, considering that he’s never taken responsibility for his frayed relationships with his children. But man, what I wouldn’t give to have someone on the canvas sit him down and say, “Look… buddy… you’ve built a kingdom, and I know what pride you take in that. Let your children go out and build their own king- and queendoms. Would you really deprive them of that satisfaction by keeping them forever living under your thumb? Let’s see who they really are and what they can really accomplish on their own.”

“Plastic flowers and an empty glass… Could this day get any worse?”

Neil might have been able to do it. Katherine perhaps. Michael, it may be up to you, bro. Load up that truth bomb and let ’er drop. (Nikki’s obviously not going to do it; she blamed Adam and Nick for being the dysfunctional people into whom their father fashioned them!) Regardless of who tackles the task, if anybody’s going to point out to Victor that he’s his own worst enemy where his brats are concerned, they’d better act fast, given that Adam is once again threatening World War III. Or would it be WWIV by now? In any case, he’s taking aim at “Pops,” and this time, he’s gonna get ’im, too. Sure, Jan.

None of Your Business

Although I loved the idea of Nikki and Audra being thrown together, the former’s interrogation of the latter fell kinda flat. I know that Newman has no HR department so, obviously, it would be totally cool for Nikki to question her new second-in-command about her relationship with her granddaughter’s estranged husband. But Nikki wasn’t clever about it. She didn’t have any fun toying with Audra, so we didn’t really have any fun watching the scenes. (At very least, it would have been nice to have Victor’s wife subtly acknowledge what he sees in Audra — i.e., the kind of younger woman he’s made his bride over and over again.)

“Dearie, if any tea gets spilled, I can assure you that it’ll be on you.”

One thing that did work gangbusters, though, was Nikki’s ultimatum: Dump Kyle, or you’re out of a job. That is classic soap matriarch, and it puts Audra in a terrific pickle, especially if she cares more for her playmate than she’s let on. In the meantime, we got one of the loveliest “Skyle” scenes in ages. When the soon-to-be-exes bumped into one another in the park, they talked about… well, nothing, really. But that was OK, because Michael Mealor and Allison Lanier’s chemistry carried the scenes and packed them with so much yearning and regret that I was about ready to pull out the fork I’d considered stuck in their marriage. Moving on…

“We finally have a storyline, and still he complains?”

Deaf-initely Dull

I’ve so often hollered about wanting real, relatable stories on Young & Restless that I hate to say it, but I’m mostly bored to death by Aria’s hearing loss. Mariah having Tessa sing to her as she imagined that she was their daughter was lovely and emotional. But overall, this twist feels like an excuse to have everyone in Genoa City reassure the marrieds of how strong and amazing they are, and what wonderful moms they are. Maybe this twist would resonate better if we’d ever seen them parenting — a 2 a.m. feeding or an awkward diaper situation, something.

Or maybe it would hit harder if “Teriah” weren’t so rich-adjacent that they could get a specialist to make a freaking house call. On what planet does that happen? I could be having a heart attack, and my doctor’s office would be like, “The soonest we can get you in is January. Of 2025.” If Aria’s deaf, Sharon will just buy her an ear transplant. Big whoop.

“This outfit is so loud that even I can hear it.”

At least this plot gave Young & Restless an excuse to tee up a sweet flashback to a young Devon and the late, great Kristoff St. John’s Neil. See? I can say something nice! (Even I wonder now and then… )

“Look! I learned sign language for ‘But enough about you.’”

 20 Questions… Give or Take

How much more entertaining were the “visions” that Adam, Nick and Sharon had of their meeting with Victor than the actual meeting? Is there no way that Sharon’s vision of a self-aware Adam could seep into reality? • Set for life as Esther is, why would she want to be on her feet all day at Crimson Lights? Did she just feel left out because she wasn’t getting a new CEO job like every other person in Genoa City? • Why were Jack and Billy having a business meeting on Abbott mansion’s patio in August while wearing full business suits? • Just how much tea do you think Mariah and Tessa go through in a week? Does Sharon bring it over by the boxful from Crimson Lights?

You and Nick go on and talk about the same stuff again, I’ll just be here drooling over those mimosas.

Doesn’t it make Victor seem dumb that he thought that he could force Adam to play nicely with Nick and Sharon? And doesn’t it make Nick and Sharon seem just as dumb that, even for a minute, they thought so, too? • Is it wrong of me to want Tucker to drink more? Because Drunk Tucker is a lot livelier than sober Tucker? • Didn’t that John/Ashley flashback almost make all of Ashley and Jack’s caterwauling worth it? (If you’re going to use a flashback, that’s the way to do it — not replaying a scene that took place a day before!) • Phyllis can be a lot, I know, but I’ll be damned if that wasn’t how much I missed seeing Michelle Stafford on screen this week: a lot. That wasn’t even a question, just an observation. That can only mean…